Song on the Sand - From La Cage Aux Folles

I try not to be too sappy on Valentine's day--after all if I want to profess love to my partner it should be done any day and every day if I want to--no need to have a day to remind me, but I find it both funny and maybe ironic that a song from a musical takes me there and I got to learn that this show is the musical version of the movie The Birdcage which I really like.

Anyway...

While browsing around Facebook I saw a message from Carol Lynn Pearson where she talks about stories related to this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAHkm0t-mY

La Cage Aux Folles--the play was significant to Carol Lynn's husband who was dying of AIDS and wanted to see it--for the first time in theater it was the story of 2 guys in romantic love, something that even in the early 80's was not so open. In contrast she says that times are better, we can now be more open about our love, talk about it, show pictures and make it an open and public issue. Yes, times change, people's perceptions and even self-acceptance change.

Something about sharing...
Something about always...

okay, I'll stop the sappiness...

Still, long before knowing songs about love, I grew up knowing that Valentine's day was more than a day to celebrate romantic love:

In Spanish we say: Feliz Dia del Amor y la Amistad = Happy day of love and friendship and in my mind, love isn't only romantic, it should be shared in its many wonderful forms--that's just how it should be!

Adventures in Mass Transit

 

This is a story about how I messed what should have been a pleasant experience into a nightmare just because I didn't pay attention to 1 vital detail. I was going to ride the bus home on a weeknight after work. I looked at the UTA Transit website for possible routes and alternatives. Narrowed it down to 2 and decided to head out to take a short ride on Trax (the Salt Lake City light rail system) to catch my bus connection that would leave me literally steps away from my complex. I have taken this bus home before (but probably not within the last couple of months).

What I failed to check was the map for my connection bus. Apparently the system has changes ever so often and I waited for what I expected to be my connection bus that never came. By the time I realized the error (after browsing on my phone and calling UTA) I hurried to catch Trax again to a central station which took about 10 minutes to get there, I hoped that I would be able to catch the next bus but missed it just barely as the train was turning I saw my missed bus turning opposite corners. Once I got to the central station the next line was not due for at least 1/2 hour, so I looked for an alternative route which was not due for at least 20 minutes.

I texted Jeff to alert him that I was on my way and not to panic (I should have been home at least a 1/2 hr by this time and was still waiting to get on a bus) frustration can not even begin to describe how I was feeling. I finally took a bus that took forever because by now traffic is full on rush hour. I made it home about 1.5 hours after leaving work---I could have probably walked home and be home way sooner than that. 

I felt so tired from that ordeal that I was about to write an angry letter to UTA but then again, it was my fault for assuming that nothing had changed--which had and from a conversation with a co-worker it appears that things are changing again in a couple of weeks, so I better beware. Still--and I'm not trying to blame anyone here, what happened was my fault--Salt Lake City has never really been a mass-transit premier city. I get that they're trying to get on a level of other major cities in the US but it really is a long ways before this happens and until then people are probably not going to feel comfortable enough to leave their cars home and opt for an alternative ways of transportation.

One positive thing though is that in a couple of months there will be a direct light-rail line that will be running right by my house and will drop me about a block from work. I better get my navigation skills sharpened until this happens, I don't want to be stuck in mass transportation hell again!

Cabin Fever Brings Random Thoughts

 

January came with some of the coldest temperatures I've ever seen in Utah. I don't think that the snow from Christmas ever melted. Salt Lake also gets one of the worst inversions that I know of. Some TV reports were mentioning that we live among the dirtiest air in the United States. Consequently exercising outside (or doing anything outdoors) is pretty much impossible. We went out for a walk on Saturday morning which was still too cold for much else--all I can say is I do hope Spring comes soon--it really is time to start warming up.

Last week's snow storm removed most of the mucky air and we started breathing normal again. Instead of running outside like I love to do normally I've been restricted to find other ways of doing activity, but I was invited to a Zumba class not too far from where I live and that's what I have been doing for the last couple of months as far as physical exercise--true that the ungodly hour of 5:30am made me cringe initially but it isn't so bad once you get going. 

Oddly enough the class is in an LDS Church building. Walking in there back in November was a little (no, it was VERY weird) but aside from the opening prayer the classes are pretty secular and hey, who doesn't like to do a sexy move now and then? The attendees are people from all walks of life, Whites, Blacks, Polynesians, Hispanics and the only thing that matters there is that you move in the general direction that everyone else is going---it took me a little bit to wrap my head around the things that go on there from the stand of seeing so many come together doing something that is so much fun and healthy.

Of course since I get to go with Jeff (and let's face it, the man has got moves!) it is pretty obvious that we're partners--it is interesting how we're navigating that part--most people just say "Miguel and his friend" and at first I felt a need to make a point that we're not just friends, but I honestly don't want to make a big deal out of it--there's no need to get bitchy and in your face with people that are gracious enough to provide a free class and do anything to make people uncomfortable, oh and it is pretty obvious that we're not the only homos there but if someone asks I'm not ashamed to say we're together and  I see this as my own version of building bridges and if this helps even 1 active LDS member feel better for LGBT folks it is a good start, if not then I figure kill them with fabulous Zumba moves above all else--so we'll see how this experiment turns out but I have to admit, it has been a fun way to exercise so far!

My fair life

Well the holidays came and are gone--it all seems almost like a blur...but they were good holidays, in fact my son mentioned that it was the best Christmas he had in many years--I think it had more with the fact that he is now working and was able to do some of his own sharing of cheer--good times!

We spent a good part of a Sunday clearing out the 2nd bedroom which pretty much came to be Christmas central--where all the bags, presents, boxes, wrapping paper and crafts came to rest while we figured out who they were going to, where they were being sent and all that good stuff. Afterwards we ironed a pile of clothing that had been neglected because we mainly had casual days at work and didn't need dress shirts; ironing is one of those chores that is left to the last possible moment--basically when there's no other choice, so we pop in a DVD and take turns ironing a few pieces each to make it easier and less of a daunting task.

This time the movie was My Fair Lady--I watched that years ago with my kid. It is one of those classic musicals that I love to watch and the music is great--of course Jeff and I get to sing along this time and somewhere in there I thought to myself: "I have a fabulous life--a great person in my life, we share in all things here, cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing and I get to do all of that while watching musicals... how much fortunate can I get?"

This is my fair life as of late...and it is damn good!

* 2012 In Review *

Last year I made some vague goals that didn't have specific tasks attached to them. I left things kind of open because I honestly didn't want to break any given resolution and I also wanted to leave the opportunity open for whatever adventures might come throughout the year. The things I listed as wanting to do were:

Something Magical

Something New

Something Unexpected

Something Scary

Well here's my interpretation of what happened in all those areas:

Something magical:  Moving in with Jeff--well this was actually the one resolution we made together, basically figure out a way to make it happen sometime in the year. We talked about the logistics, what it would mean in many different aspects and time frames. I ran this past my kids so they felt like I didn't make this decision arbitrarily and they were both cool with it. We had a couple of stressful months trying to make it all happen, because I was supposed to leave my place by certain time in April but then had to wait a couple of weeks to get into the new place, turns out that I was told my place had been rented so I HAD to be out....well one way or another it all worked out somehow and we got a nice place that has worked out for us in lots of good ways. 

It all came together around Memorial Day and the experience has been beyond my hopes and expectations. Sure we've had to learn new ways to adapt to each other and learning yet lots of cool (and quirky) things about each other even now. In many people's eyes this was long overdue--almost 2.5 years after being together as a couple, but in our eyes it felt right and I'm glad we made it happen---who would have thought that in the midst of my angst years ago I would find myself in this situation? Not in my wildest dreams...

Something New: For the first time in about 20 years I wanted a birthday party for me. I am not one to call attention to myself--I just learned to draw away celebrations or the possibility in many years of marriage and many other situations. But this year was different and although our place is not big at all and conducive for parties I invited my kids, relatives and friends from different walks of life to come and celebrate. It was a lot of fun--it was interesting to watch some of my worlds collide (my kids meeting some of gay friends, straight friends hanging and chatting with everyone). I heard from some people that it was a great experience, definitely a chance to put themselves out of their comfort zone and have a good experience. I should probably make this a yearly tradition... we'll see!

Something unexpected: Had my name removed from the LDS church--I actually had this in my head for a long while. I am not sure why I had waited so long to make it happen. Somehow or other the letter had just never been written and sent, so before the move in with Jeff I decided I wanted it done. I wrote the letter, sent certified-mail copies to the bishop listed on the LDS church website, the stake president and headquarters and heard back from headquarters about two weeks later with a pamphlet asking me to come back....um--okay---the official name removal about six weeks later. No hassles, no nightmares. 

I was glad to be able to move on and all the previous imagined anxiety I had about doing this fizzled out. In my best LDS-speak: "I'm forever grateful" for the time I spent being Mormon--I learned a lot, I grew as a person a lot, I enjoyed many relationships and friendships-some of which are still going even after coming out; my mission is still one of the best things that happened to me in my then 20-year old life--I don't regret any of it--but I also realize as Jeff calls it--that there's no place for me at the Mormon table and if for any reason that were to ever change, it would likely not change my feelings. It really was time to move on, so I'll just leave it at that.

Something scary: Some people know about this and some don't. I got a piercing--this is something that I wanted to do as part of my divorce back when--something for me, about me that the old me would have never done. Jeff got me a gift certificate last year so I really had no excuse. It did take me a few months to build the courage and yes I won't deny it, the experience was scary and full of adrenaline but it was not nearly as bad as I had expected (or as bad as the YouTube videos showed). I won't go into more details because, well--this is still my thing, LOL...

So it was a good year. I'm glad I saw the chances to make the things I wanted to do happen and here's to many great things happening this year and in the future---cheers!!