No Place At The Table...

 Yesterday afternoon I was riding trax (the lightrail system in Salt Lake City) home and at a certain station, a bunch of missionaries heading out to their assignment got on the train dragging big suitcases. Turns out that instead of being bussed from Provo to the airport, they're pretty much handed a train ticket and sent to catch their flight at the airport on their own--interesting change.

Anyway, once they managed to get in and set their stuff down a couple of them sat nearby and a conversation started almost immediately: where are you going--(these ones are assigned to Cambodia), where are you from, etc, etc, etc. One missionary asked me where I was from and after the normal formalities he asked if I attended church. I said that I don't; he asked if he could know why? I answered "I'm assuming if you're asking me why I don't attend the LDS church and I'll tell you it is because I'm gay and there's no place for me at the table..."

 

The look on his companion went from friendly to a little guarded to serious, but they both still kept the conversation going, it wasn't many stations before I got off the train, but the one chatty elder kept asking some follow up questions and my answer kept revolving around: "there's no room for me at the LDS table, I don't fit in as a gay individual, much less with a partner on your Plan of Salvation elder, think about it--how do I fit in when all the talk is about mom, dad, 3.2 kids and all happily ever after each Sunday in church?".

 

I don't think he was prepared to hear that, but he still managed to say, "God still loves you" and I think he was surprised to hear from me that I know that, I've felt God's love and care for me and that my life is good, I manage to live a full life, I contribute to society, I told them I realize that the LDS church is leaps and bounds from where it was even years ago when the only answer I could get to deal with my situation was to get married hoping to heal it, but lots more needed to be done and I told them: "when you two are apostles, please make it happen so I have a place at your table, until then, there's not a lot that interests me there" at which time they smiled, my stop came, I wished them well and got off the train.

 

I thought about my encounter for a while. Even a few years back I would have never dared tell a complete stranger, let alone a set of LDS missionaries that I am gay and feel as confident expressing myself as anything in life and I honestly don't feel the anxiety I used to feel before talking about it. To me that is a good thing and I've come a long ways; but the bottom line is that indeed there's no place for me at the LDS table--I know a lot of people try to find a place in their own terms perhaps, or based on whatever the church is willing to give them--not me, no thanks--I will NOT fight for a place where all I can hope to do is a figurative place as a server, a cleaner or licking the crumbs that fall on the floor (in the figurative sense again--I don't want church scraps).

 

It is what it is and I'm quite content with my life to beg for full recognition in a place where it doesn't exist, regardless of what people may want me to believe otherwise and well, I've made a life outside that is just as worthwhile without needing their validation--that is a huge thing for me. I know staying in the church helps a lot of people change it from within and hoping something will change sometime and that is great, but I find no use in it...it is what it is.

Downtown Escapades

Small shops on 300 South

Signs of Spring are finally showing--yay!!

It has been a particularly cold winter in Utah and while I've learned to deal with most of it, there comes a moment when it would really be nice to start feeling the warmth of the sun and the season that is starting to change. Since work moved me right smack to Downtown Salt Lake City, I've been taking little adventures on foot during lunch.

Interesting how some places show start contrasts between the new and the old!

I believe Salt Lake is a good walking city. Of course everyone is used to seeing mainly the most popular spots (Temple Square, State Capitol) and while they're beautiful in their own right, there are a lot of other quirky places that have lots of local charm, history and oddly enough plenty of diversity.

Entrance to the First Methodist Church in SLC

What is most interesting to me is the level of interesting stuff that I'm able to find while walking around town, rather than riding in a car--yes I know there's a difference but I really enjoy this and of course I get to take advantage of the physical exercise wandering around town. I set up an album on Facebook to keep track of these findings and while I do want to also take shots of the popular areas--I want to be able to find good places that just beg to be photographed.

Interesting Mural on a Wall

Utah State Legislature Strikes Again

I have to admit that as much as I should be involved in the political process I am not as comfortable navigating in the mess that appears to be a legislative session in the State of Utah, but it doesn't take a genius to know that some of the laws that passed this session are just a little far-fetched. 

That's the case of House Bill 363 which basically teaches abstinence as the only recommended form of sex education and prohibits teachers to teach anything else. Not to be a negative voice of the people here, but I understand that the primary job for teaching children about sex belongs to the parents and I don't think anyone disagrees with me. However where I have a problem is that a lot of Utah parents are not interested in discussing sexual topics with their children--in any context and it could very well be that the parent chooses to call themselves conservative, but at least from my point of view (where I have teenage children myself) I don't think that a parent can afford to dig their head in the sand not address all of the good and bad issues of sex and hope that their kids will somehow choose to make the right decisions based on morals or what's being assumed as the popular belief. 

There's an online petition going around that has surpassed 40,000 signatures in which people are asking the governor to veto the bill, which might or might not make any difference because 1. The governor may ignore everyone's opinion and sign it into law, or 2. He might veto it which only means that the legislature might reconvene and override it--which leaves everyone pretty much in the same place

I think the state of Utah (or is it just the legislators?) must seem really backwards in this regard to the rest of the world when in reality is a pretty amazing place to live, great opportunities for outdoor recreation pretty much year around and great diversity---we just need to make the people who really help move all the crazy stuff die off fast and have the more open-minded folks take over; or simply involve more people in the political process and make it a more balanced system. 

I hope that at least those who dare make a statement show that slowly but surely Utah is starting to turn things around and becoming more than one-sided, right-wing, red state....until then, we may just have to be patient!!!

Assumptions

Dia De Los Muertos

Last May when I went to Roosevelt Utah with Jeff's family I was asked if we did anything for Memorial Day (well besides having a barbeque!) but more precisely going to the cemetery to visit the grave sites of the dead. I replied that we save the Day of the Dead for that--well I shouldn't say this because my family didn't typically observe the day anyway, but a lot of people in Mexico do it. They're having an exhibit at the West Valley Cultural Center so we stopped by last night to visit. I think I knew most of the stuff I read but basically the dead are celebrated for 2 days in November. The 1st of day for children and the 2nd day for the adults 

 

After doing a little more reading I find that the day is not just to revere the relatives who've passed on and honor them with the foods and music and activities they enjoyed, but also in a morbid kind of way to mock death--so if we make death seem just about the same as life (merely just bones without living flesh and organs), the next stage may not seem as scary, right?

 

 

I kind of like that idea yes, if Halloween is all about making fun of horror, evil and all things obscure I can completely see the concept of making fun of the ultimate stage of life, after all what good is life if it can't be enjoyed and celebrated, even in death! Aside from Halloween, how do you honor the dead?

Hope you enjoy these few pictures I took of the display!

Hiking Pictures & Stories...

I had gone on a spur of the moment hike a couple of weeks ago with my dear friend Clive at the Bonneville Shore Trail but we only made it part of the trail, since we didn't quite know where the trail would lead, but I had every intention of going back and finishing it soon.

I got a chance to go back and finish it on Thursday with Jeff, we packed sandwiches, water and trailmix and headed out to the trail. One of the things I mentioned was how odd that within 10 minutes you don't even feel like you're in the city anymore, yet a few turns and climbs and there are stunning views of the Salt Lake Valley to the South, then a return to semi-reality with a neighborhood of beautiful mansions below the rim of the mountain--I wonder what people who live in those houses do for a living...

While hiking up and trying to catch our breaths we managed some interesting conversations, one of which was when I made the "wonder what those people do for a living" comment, Jeff said something to the fact of: "The main things in life are who I love, who loves me (family, friends) I have a good job that allows me to pay my bills and allows me to have a good life". Having that kind of conversations brings my life back into somewhat of a perspective. It is true, a lot of times we focus so much on what we don't have and fail to realize what we do. I need to think that way more often...

Once we made it to the top of a mountain we found ourselves literally surrounded probably by hundreds of dragon flies in a field. I was a little mesmerized by the view from the top and I wish I'd been able to take a picture of the dragon flies but instead shot only a view of the valley to the West, after all, you can only do so much with a camera from a phone.

I have to admit that this is one of the things I LOVE about Utah, the outdoors and views compare to very little else in other places and as much as it drives people insane because of the local flair (religion and politics) nothing compares getting to the top of a hill and looking down below, nothing matters up there, other than being in the moment. 

This is another view coming down by Ensign Peak, just as we were making it to the neighborhood down below. The total hike was about 5 miles, 2 hours, sore legs and a great time spent enjoying the scenery, the view, great company and having excellent conversations with the babe! 

Life is good, indeed!!!

Bucket List

I've often been asked what's on my bucket list and I've tried to start a list over and over again, never really putting a solid list together and I figured that it has to be a living/changing list for me. So I got thinking that maybe I ought to collect pictures of the things I want to do or places I want to see and label them Bucket List, Bucket List Part I, II, III until I run out of things I want to do or places I want to see (or until I don't know the next Roman numeral, LOL!). So here's a couple of them to get the list started (in no particular order):

SPAIN

 

I'd love to see Madrid, Barcelona, heck why not even run with the bulls in Pamplona. I'd also like to either see the Island of Palma or the Canary Islands but if nothing else, visit Cadiz and Gibraltar (although I know it is really Great Britan, not Spain--but hey, that's 2 countries!)--. This has been in my list of places to see for many, many years.

MACHU PICHU, PERU

 

There's just something enigmatic about this place. I hear it is a real trek to get there and there's never a guarantee that a visitor might see the whole thing because it may be foggy, but I still want to see it and take in the energy of a place like this. I've visited pyramids in Mexico and you can just feel the place as being so beyond any expectations.

WASHINGTON DC

 

I'd like to take a good week or two and visit The White House, Congress, Library of Congress, Lincoln Memorial and lots of other monuments and of course, take in as much of the Smithsonian as I can handle. If it were that I traveled to DC in the Spring so I can see the blossoms, it would be even better! 

CANCUN

 This is one of the few areas of Mexico that I have not visited. I'd like to see this but more the archeological area of Chichen Itza and visit some Zenotes and other natural areas.

All in good time, I'm sure. Have any readers visited any of these areas and what parts would you recommend I see in these places? As I mentioned above, this list is to be continued...