January 19, 2011

How'bout them friendly Lesbians!

I don't know if this might be kind of flattering or if I'll just plain offend and annoy anyone; I didn't even dare find pictures because just like gay-male stereotypes I don't want to make any assumptions about our female counterparts (I'm not even sure I want to post this--we'll see but if I do), this is going to be irreverent as heck, and it might be the origin of what I may perceive as a possible divide but right off  I'm just going to say it: Girl-on-girl--as in sex--, really? I know many straight guys think it is awesome, but sadly, doesn't do much here...maybe that's what people think of guy-on-guy sex...SO...before I go off on a huge tangent, I'll just start typing my real thoughts here and hey why not stir the pot a little? :-)

I suppose in my own coming out journey I didn't really think much or make much of Lesbians and I apologize for sounding so self-centered (OGT?). I had heard through the grapevine that there are a few of them where I work and it makes sense statistically but never really went up to anyone and just started asking questions--I still don't know who they may be. I hope that Drakames doesn't mind that I mention that she was probably the first one I met in person at a Moho Party--and at the time she was herself shy and likely trying to figure out what it all meant being gay to her like I was trying to figure out for me-- and that was a huge contrast from the next time I saw her at a candlelight vigil with a completely new look and a hottie girlfriend by her side and thinking: WOW, that's an amazing change!! :-) I've met a handful more lesbians here and there, but that was about it.

Jump-forward to Pride last June and I saw lots and lots of Lesbians and kept thinking: This is awesome! Still as I talked and asked others about  their perceptions they seem to be that Lesbians: 1. Drive Subarus, 2. Live in the Avenues and 3. They can kick my ass in no time flat if so they choose--Again, don't hate me!!--this is what people mention the most and part of why I'm writing this--to break away any preconceived notions. I for one have been seeing a surge of gay females on the Mohosphere and I think it is very cool to read and follow the likes of We Were Going to be Queens and Finding My Way and read about what makes them tick!! I apologize if I don't mention anyone else, but those are the blogs I follow, I know there are lots more on the Mohodirectory. I have a point, I promise. Last weekend the babe and I were out dancing at a Latin club on gay night and he pointed out that there were several female-female couples at the club, almost as many as male-male, mostly Hispanic women which may or may not have anything to correlate, it was just one of those things worth mentioning because we hardly see any if at all at the other gay clubs we go to sometimes and I replied that I don't really have a lot of in-person Lesbian friends--everyone please say: awwww! :-( :-)  ;-).

I don't know if that really ever happens but in my ideal community where we all help and accept everyone, where there's world peace and we all ride unicorns and spread out glitter through town--yeah so sue me, did you read the top of my blog?: You may say I'm a dreamer-- I suppose I envision Lesbians being part of that community just like anyone else. But seriously, does it really happen? A Facebook friend also pointed out that there's a huge segment of  Lesbians that are raising children, that may be part of why they are not as visible as gay men and it would make sense, but if that's the case then in my mind that's a segment of the population that deserves access to everything in the world right--well who doesn't? There's even a New York Times article that talks about how there are even churches in the South that cater to gay couples that are raising children and Lesbians are a big part of that community, so YAY! that's a start.

So, I want the truth, do gay guys segregate against Lesbians on purpose and vice-versa or  am I just being too sensitive? Should I post an ad that says: "Friendly, platonic Lesbian friendship wanted, I'll show you how to cook and bake if you show me how to box?" he, he, he, sorry, again, I could kill myself thinking that way. Again, before I get flamed, sued or frankly, have my ass kicked at the next Pride event--I have no ill feelings about Lesbians, I'm just curious and please anyone chime in with your thoughts on the subject...

crickets...

or not!

12 comments:

  1. First of all, thanks for the link love! I feel honored. Honestly.

    As for the rest of the post, I'm not sure what to say. Since I'm not "out" and about in the gay world then it's hard to comment on how much lesbians are a part of that world. I do not drive a Subaru, live in the Avenues, nor can I kick your trash. But I'm also married to a man, something that most lesbians probably don't practice in general.

    Although I hope to one day be more a part of the gay community, for now I'm just not. I hope you get better comments than mine because this wasn't helpful at all. I appreciate your post though.

    And I'm really happy that you follow my blog! :)

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  2. Hi FMW,
    I woke up around 4:00 a.m. stressed and thinking I should delete my posting. I honestly didn't want to offend anyone, but then I thought: Why not talk about things that you don't hear about in other places. I just hope I didn't push too many buttons out there and thanks for your reply! Like I said I know that most people don't fit stereotypes and yet we put them into those boxes over and over again.
    Hugs,Miguel

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  3. Miguel - Thanks for the love! I think you are great.

    I am not all that out and about in the community yet so I have only heard of divisions between gays and lesbians... I think we should just be nice to everyone!

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  4. I, too, am a gay woman. I live in Utah, yet I do not drive a Subaru, I do not live in the Avenues, and could I kick your as*? Maybe- after all, I do teach Jr. High math- which means I can do almost (?) anything? :)

    As Kiley said, I think people should just be nice to other people, especially when those people are all part of the "family".

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  5. Kiley!
    I agree with you, why not just be nice to each other? there's already plenty of people out there who aren't, no need to isolate anyone!

    TBA! I think that anyone who teaches is top notch in my book (and I'm not just brown-nosing the teachers here!) If you live in Utah, would you consider the possibility of attending a moho party, or meeting sometime? <<-No pressure here! :-)

    Hugs,Miguel

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  6. I would consider the possibility of both meeting you AND attending a MoHo party... :)

    And, thank you for the "shout out" to teachers. :)

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  7. TBA, just so happens that Saturday night IS the Moho party (no, it isn't a plot, happens on the last Saturday of each month) but if you're interested and/or you don't already have all the details send me an email (posted on my profile) and I'll be happy to give you the dish! :-)

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  8. Hi!

    I am interested but already have plans for Saturday. Maybe another time? Thank you for inviting me! :)

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  9. I had to laugh about the Subaru comment. Bloomington is very gay - example: we're in the middle of a PRIDE film festival this weekend - and the Subaru thing is something we joke about all the time. I'm straight, very straight, but I have a lot of friends in the "community." The discrimination is part of the reason I left the church - a large part of the final decision.

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  10. TBA: Any other time would work just great, shoot me an email sometime.

    Hope: That's great to hear about the Pride Film Festival in Bloomington. I seriously was hesitant to write about the stereotypes because I didn't want to offend/alienate anyone, but again--at least in my mind it is important to make everyone feel inclusive and not left out!

    Hugs,Miguel

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  11. Any MoHo gatherings soon? May I bring my girlfriend?

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  12. Hi Duck!
    There's a gathering tomorrow night at one of the guys home, kind of a potluck "coming out" thing very unofficial and then Scott's Moho party next weekend--Saturday night, starts at 6:30 until whenever. If you're interested in either let me know (my email is in my profile) and of course, you can bring your love with you!
    Hugs,Miguel

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