December 24, 2012

Why I hate Christmas Carols

Maybe hate is too strong of a word...

Then again, maybe not. I noticed my dislike for Christmas songs a few years ago. My life was in such a crazy place then that the only meaning that I could attach to it was in a negative tone. I remember the first time I'd hear White Christmas in a season and feeling a dark, sadness that would come over me and even draw me to tears--it was usually a month or two after I felt that pit in my stomach around Labor Day when things would start going downhill that I mentioned in my previous post.

Some radio stations will go as far as start playing carols before Halloween, but it is usually after that when the songs start peeking. If I had my way I would outlaw Christmas carols until after Thanksgiving, but that's just me. I do realize other people like them and I suppose it is fair to allow everyone a chance to enjoy them--heck I even find myself singing along with some of them. But eventually I find myself needing to withdraw from them and my escape is to play Pandora Radio music on everything BUT Christmas! :-)

I was telling Jeff stories of my family's Christmas back in Mexico and Texas, gatherings, mission and church programs, some of the family dynamics between my family and my ex-in laws back when I was married, how some of those situations a few years ago started turning me sour for the season and such and then the thought came to me: "Christmas music makes me horribly sentimental" It could be me trying to sensationalize some of the good memories, or longing for as my ex used to call it the age of innocence, realizing the fact that it has been years since I've spent time with my parents and siblings...I don't know--. Just for the record my life is in such a different place emotionally and otherwise, so once I realized this I asked myself why do I feel like I do about Christmas carols and it threw me into an emotional spin- I have no psychology training but I figure it is the one thing that makes the most sense to me at this time...

Maybe I'm just turning into a sentimental old coot!

I think after realizing this I'm feeling much better. I'm not sure this means that I like Christmas carols any more (or any less) I guess I just have a better awareness of where some of my sadness comes from and I'll have to figure out how to get out of that funk when I feel it. Again, I don't know that it is a good thing or a bad thing but crazy how we learn/realize something new about oneself in a snap!

December 08, 2012

Silent night

I've neglected this blog horribly. First I got word that it had a virus. I don't even know of it is cleaned now.

Life has happened, work is crazy busy and well, I've living with my love--life is wonderful and beyond my wildest expectations. Tonight I get a rare night at home where we can hang, watch TV and relax a little.

Life is good