Latin Dancing-- Not your mother's Salsa dance!

 I love to dance. I think it may have been one of my first OGT (Obviously Gay Traits) ever since I was a young kid, maybe 7 or 8 I remember loving to dance. It didn't matter what kind of music it was, it was just so freeing. One of the things I really liked growing up were the LDS Youth and Young Adult dances and I would hardly sit down at all. I read somewhere the saying "Dance like no one is watching" and that probably described me to a T.

I used to go dancing with a huge group of young adults, and we'd be found at one or other Young Adult dance or a dance club. Oddly enough I found it even more liberating that at the dance club you didn't have to have a partner, everyone danced as a group or by themselves and it was never a big deal, unlike church dances. Of course this all ended when we all got married and went our separate ways, but if there was a party or a wedding, I would jump to the chance to dance, didn't everyone? :-)

Fast-forward to coming out and being invited to a gay club. To say that I was intimidated is an understatement, but soon my nerves were calmed as dancing with my guy friends (as in a group) was not a big deal--I'd done it before. As fun as clubs are, I really don't consider myself to be club-hopper, but I do like to dance the night away whenever I go.

One of my latest frontiers crossed was Latin dancing-homo style. I wasn't sure how it worked because I had only danced Salsa, Merengue, Cumbia and heck even the Mexican Regional music with a woman and wasn't quite sure how it would work guy-guy. So a few of weeks ago we went to a gay Latin night and at first it was the couples (M-F) dancing but as soon as the place got crowded I started seeing--M/F, M/M, F/F couples dancing together which was way fun, non-judgmental and very nice!! I had a blast, I have to admit that because I only had led the dancing before it was weird to figure out who was leading dancing with the babe, but all in all it was a lot of fun! So now we'll have to learn to do the turning steps before we try to go again... YAY for making yet another  one of my favorite hobbies even MORE FUN!!

En Español

For anyone who reads this, this is a heads up: ¡Hablo Español! (duh!)

I had done some postings in Spanish in "that other" blog that always generated interesting hits and emails from people in Mexico, Central and South America, so in an effort to reach out to anyone out there who is/may be a Spanish speaker regardless of what their life circumstances are (gay, straight, Mormon, jack-Mormon--whatever), I'll be posting somethings in Spanish every now and then. If I consider them to be important enough to share I'll translate them to English at the bottom, just don't freak out and go all "Must have got the wrong blog, I can't read Mexican" on me, ok?

Consider yourself warned!

Estaba leyendo El Universal (Diario de Noticias de México) y me encontre un blog que tiene recetas de cocina facil. Segun la autora Sonia Ortiz, con sus recetas "Cualquiera Puede Cocinar" asi que hasta un novato como yo lo puede hacer.

Pues ahora vamos a ver si es cierto y voy a hacer unas tortitas de arroz, solo que no las voy a freir en aceite, las voy a hornear porque aunque me encanta la comida frita, no es muy buena para los diabeticos como yo y la verdad no se pierde mucho del sabor con la comida horneada. Asi que haber como sale el experimento. Si les interesa ella tiene pagina de Twitter y Facebook

Tambien tiene recetas de calabacitas y Rompope! YUM!!

How'bout them friendly Lesbians!

I don't know if this might be kind of flattering or if I'll just plain offend and annoy anyone; I didn't even dare find pictures because just like gay-male stereotypes I don't want to make any assumptions about our female counterparts (I'm not even sure I want to post this--we'll see but if I do), this is going to be irreverent as heck, and it might be the origin of what I may perceive as a possible divide but right off  I'm just going to say it: Girl-on-girl--as in sex--, really? I know many straight guys think it is awesome, but sadly, doesn't do much here...maybe that's what people think of guy-on-guy sex...SO...before I go off on a huge tangent, I'll just start typing my real thoughts here and hey why not stir the pot a little? :-)

I suppose in my own coming out journey I didn't really think much or make much of Lesbians and I apologize for sounding so self-centered (OGT?). I had heard through the grapevine that there are a few of them where I work and it makes sense statistically but never really went up to anyone and just started asking questions--I still don't know who they may be. I hope that Drakames doesn't mind that I mention that she was probably the first one I met in person at a Moho Party--and at the time she was herself shy and likely trying to figure out what it all meant being gay to her like I was trying to figure out for me-- and that was a huge contrast from the next time I saw her at a candlelight vigil with a completely new look and a hottie girlfriend by her side and thinking: WOW, that's an amazing change!! :-) I've met a handful more lesbians here and there, but that was about it.

Jump-forward to Pride last June and I saw lots and lots of Lesbians and kept thinking: This is awesome! Still as I talked and asked others about  their perceptions they seem to be that Lesbians: 1. Drive Subarus, 2. Live in the Avenues and 3. They can kick my ass in no time flat if so they choose--Again, don't hate me!!--this is what people mention the most and part of why I'm writing this--to break away any preconceived notions. I for one have been seeing a surge of gay females on the Mohosphere and I think it is very cool to read and follow the likes of We Were Going to be Queens and Finding My Way and read about what makes them tick!! I apologize if I don't mention anyone else, but those are the blogs I follow, I know there are lots more on the Mohodirectory. I have a point, I promise. Last weekend the babe and I were out dancing at a Latin club on gay night and he pointed out that there were several female-female couples at the club, almost as many as male-male, mostly Hispanic women which may or may not have anything to correlate, it was just one of those things worth mentioning because we hardly see any if at all at the other gay clubs we go to sometimes and I replied that I don't really have a lot of in-person Lesbian friends--everyone please say: awwww! :-( :-)  ;-).

I don't know if that really ever happens but in my ideal community where we all help and accept everyone, where there's world peace and we all ride unicorns and spread out glitter through town--yeah so sue me, did you read the top of my blog?: You may say I'm a dreamer-- I suppose I envision Lesbians being part of that community just like anyone else. But seriously, does it really happen? A Facebook friend also pointed out that there's a huge segment of  Lesbians that are raising children, that may be part of why they are not as visible as gay men and it would make sense, but if that's the case then in my mind that's a segment of the population that deserves access to everything in the world right--well who doesn't? There's even a New York Times article that talks about how there are even churches in the South that cater to gay couples that are raising children and Lesbians are a big part of that community, so YAY! that's a start.

So, I want the truth, do gay guys segregate against Lesbians on purpose and vice-versa or  am I just being too sensitive? Should I post an ad that says: "Friendly, platonic Lesbian friendship wanted, I'll show you how to cook and bake if you show me how to box?" he, he, he, sorry, again, I could kill myself thinking that way. Again, before I get flamed, sued or frankly, have my ass kicked at the next Pride event--I have no ill feelings about Lesbians, I'm just curious and please anyone chime in with your thoughts on the subject...

crickets...

or not!

Movie Review: Mulligans

We saw this movie last Friday at Gay Movie Night although it wasn't my first time. I had originally seen it shortly after separating from the X, I knew it was a gay-themed movie & wasn't sure all that it was going to be about--but I remember just sitting there and crying through a good part of it. Everything was very raw and fresh and the experiences that the Dad's character were going through were too much to handle at the time. I got the message but there were so many things I missed about it.

Fast-forward a year and a half. I saw it with a bunch of other people, some of them were watching it for the first time. A few of the guys have only been separated from their X's for a very brief time and some of them lost it here and there. I mentioned to someone that it was nice to watch the movie again and be able to see the other characters and their points of view of the experience of having a grown-married-man come out and the drama that unfolds with his wife and children instead of just bawling.

The main difference for me this time was to realize how far I've come since that raw/emotional time. Not that I didn't think that the movie isn't emotional--that's not the case at all. I guess time does heal all wounds and in some aspects it does get better (yes, I went there; ha!). Someone said that he hoped someday to show this movie to his kids so they at least have a glimpse of how he feels/felt going through his coming-out. I'm not sure that my kids would want to watch it but if they should ever ask about my experience it might be worth bringing it up so I recommend it for the drama, or if you have a gay spouse, son, brother, dad--whatever and you don't think you get it, this movie might give you a small glimpse of their experience and let's also be frank, the dad and Chase do offer nice eye-candy!

Lo Mejor De Mi Vida Eres Tú: Ricky Martin

Calories, Carbohydrates and Treadmills, oh my!

It is no secret that living a healthy lifestyle has several benefits for one's life. I may have mentioned this before but about 3 years ago I was diagnosed with Diabetes Type II. How I got there was the result of eating without worry--I'm sure I was dealing with tons of other internal issues as a way of coping with my life back then...

Long story short, I had to change my entire lifestyle. I won't deny that sometimes it is extremely hard to maintain a healthy regimen. Holidays make it very hard, but since I've lost and managed to keep about 30 pounds off and on and I guess the battle will always continue. What's helped me? I don't think I'm so much in a special diet. Sure, I've eliminated any food that can be bought on the drive-through and regular soda pop (switched to diet). I've tried to eat at home as much as possible and when doing this try to eat less--I don't always succeed at this but again, it is an ongoing fight--it will always be.

I also have to exercise. I found that at least for me, even if I eat nothing but lettuce it makes no difference in my body, I still get high glucose readings, so I had been consistently running/walking for 1 mile every day and recently increased that to 2 miles a day. The result is that my doctor removed my Diabetes diagnosis at my last physical after my last AC1 test and told me not to go back to my old habits. Only recently did I start paying more close attention to the calorie and carbohydrate contents of food but only because I've tried to see what it would take to basically burn off whatever I eat and the comparisons are disconcerting! I almost bought a small packet of chocolate donuts the other day at the store and realized that it contains more than 400 calories, well when I figured that I'd have to run for more than a 1/2 hour just to burn that little pack of donuts off I put it back on the shelf immediately. If that's not a motivator (or demotivates me) then I don't know what will!


So I didn't even add physical fitness to my new year's resolutions. It is something that has been ongoing and likely always will be. The other part I like about this is that I'm starting to fit into smaller clothes which is awesome, I just wish I had the budget to work with! Anyone want to nominate me for a makeover or send me to "What Not To Wear"?

What Makes Someone Attractive?

I was talking to the babe about who may be attractive what makes someone attractive (ok fine, HOT!) . When I asked him if he was playing "two truths and one lie" he said that he just wanted an idea of what kind of person I found attractive. Um, really? well, I hadn't really thought about it in a long while, so I thought it might be fine to write the stuff down. If I was asked about what kind of men I find attractive I'd probably have to put it in pictures, so I did a little fun googling:

 

Yes it is no secret that I find Mark Ruffalo hot!  

Some of you may know this local weather man, someone please hand me a fan!! :-)

There's other examples of attractive guys in my mind, but let's be realistic; #1 the chances of meeting these guys in real life are probably next to none--well I can always stalk them, but hey, I have to work, pay rent, child support and alimony , I don't think I'd have the time honestly---er, so where was I? Oh yeah what makes a person attractive... #2 there's no telling if their personalities are really a match to their good looks, I mean they're celebrities, their job is to be liked and wanted by the masses, right?

I hate to be cliquish but to me attraction goes far beyond a good looking man. I mean I could have a teenage girl type-crush on someone but it may be more because of what the person might represent to me than what their actual personality is. To me an attractive man (heck or a woman but work with me here!) is someone who carries themselves with confidence. I don't necessarily mean the A-type person that walks into a room and demands attention from everyone but the one that might move through the room and mingle, at least be open to talking to a perfect stranger and if nothing else try to find something in common. I suppose someone funny and nice and certainly in a non-threatening way, just someone who is level-headed and grounded enough to know that you might find good to maybe bad conversations and everything else in between. Some of you that have met the babe know what I've described is some of what attracts me to him so freaking much--but the person I'm describing can also be young or older, slim, bald, nerdy, whatever we may want to label it, physical traits come and go and although they may dictate the first laws of attraction let's face it, bodies age...

I don't know if that covers what I'm trying to say. I also realize that the first time I meet a person I may or may not be able to capture that attractive personality that I enjoy. It might take a few meetings as people get more familiar and comfortable talking and disclosing themselves and by all means it doesn't mean that once a person fits the criteria I want to develop a romantic relationship. There are layers, lots and lots of layers here. This is why in my opinion first (possibly even second) dates are not the kind of place to think: Where is this going? It takes much, much more than that to find that common attraction. I have no scientific basis for anything I'm saying, these are just my personal observations.

So, now it is your turn, what (or who) do you find attractive?

Undercover Boss

I was watching the show Undercover Boss on CBS last night. I started watching it a while ago because once I forgot to change the channel after The Amazing Race and I was kind of hooked after that. I find it interesting that a lot of CEO's don't know how to to the basic jobs of their companies, if anything they're challenged far beyond their abilities and often times are told that they would not be hired if they were really competing for the job they failed to do, then they end up surprising their own employees by showing them that they are the main bosses. It makes for interesting reality TV if nothing else.

I've had all kinds of bosses in the past, some are so, so but the place where I work now believes in promoting people from within, which means that a manager today probably did the job I was doing when I first entered and although processes and things change, they at least always have the memory of what is like to be a front-line worker and I suppose that is a good thing. Maybe the show is onto something, maybe not make the CEO's themselves go back and do the front-line jobs but at least anyone above middle management should be required to go back ever so often and and perhaps all companies should implement something similar to that because in my experience, as soon as someone makes it even slightly above front-line it is easy to lose skills and remember what it was like to have the blood, sweat and tears flow from their bodies, but that's just my opinion.

Feliz Año Nuevo

New Year, New Post!!

Well sorry about the silence of the last few months...

Like I said before, life has happened and that is what has kept me busy for a while. I am not exactly sure where to begin again here, knowing that there are people that visit this place now and then. Life is complicated and has many layers which sometimes makes it exhausting trying to remember what I said and to whom. I want to put an end to that right now. My one and only resolution this year is to be authentic. I was considering posting this on Facebook and I'm still debating that (so much for being authentic, ha!) so I'm posting it here as a means of opening the dialog--and it is a start. I'll probably end up doing a link to this blog in a very casual way and let whoever wants to come visit and read it and then go from there.

I signed up for Facebook roughly in November of 2008, not really knowing what to expect and soon enough I was connecting with people back to my days in middle school back in Mexico, high school in Houston, mission, church days, past & present work, old and new friends made all in between all those times and of course, immediate and extended family.

I don’t consider my life to be that extraordinary, but experiences and events in my life have made it what it is & the people who have been in and out of it through the years have definitely shaped to be what it is, for better or worse… So where does that leave little ordinary me? While I don’t expect everyone to know everything about me at all times, and agree/disagree with me, I find that I censor myself here a lot (who doesn’t?). The people that are close to me know enough of what's going on and I like that, but there are times when I am still in fear of offending people's feelings and I suppose in an attempt to make everyone aware of what’s really going on in my life and the people I interact on site together, here it goes:

• I used to go to high school in Texas but I graduated many years ago! :-)
• I was a missionary in Mexico for the LDS church a long time ago, but that was then
• I was married for 16 years, but I am divorced now (as of May of 2010)
• I have two amazing and beautiful children who are very smart, outspoken, and feisty and the light of my life
• I have not been an active Mormon for several years
• I am a gay man and I am finally comfortable with who I am and who I’ve become. The journey has not been easy by any standards and I had to overcome a lot of issues first with myself and then as I became more comfortable with other people. My X knows, my kids know, my parents and siblings all know so there is no need to keep anything or anyone else in the dark. I am dating a very amazing guy at the moment at the same time learning how to mesh and combine all the parts of my life that have got me where I am and where my life leads.

If you’re still reading this far, I need to clarify that just as all the different areas of my life it is just that, things about me; they all are components of my life, not the one thing that makes me as an individual and after thinking about it, I have decided that I want to talk about any of those aspects at any given time. So I'm revamping this blog and will incorporate many of those things into it. 

Another confession: You see, I have also been cheating on this blog with another blog. I don't know that I want to post a direct link here, but you can always request it and I'll be happy to send for your amusement and there will likely be other people who followed me there migrate into this one eventually (I hope!)

And that's probably the best I can do right now...

So that's my big update,

Happy New Year!!