Really? are socks and sandals that tacky?

Something to give Stacy and Clinton something to cringe about: GQ Magazine named Provo and Salt Lake City, Utah as two of the worst-dressed cities in the US.

I'm wondering where the reporters visited to make their assumptions: As for Provo it says that the abundance of white shirts and ties is just too much--perhaps they visited on a Sunday? For Salt Lake they argue that the sandals and socks look did the entire city in....I wonder where did they run into people like that, the farmer's market or at the dog wash? Sadly last Sunday's "Cute Cowboy" gay-Latin night at Karamba only reinforced their suspicions, lots of us here don't really know how to dress. We might confuse gaudiness with flair--and the drag queens are not much help in showing us how to do it--just sayin'! :-)

Either way, I admit of being guilty of making several fashion mistakes--starting with the admission that in a former life, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away I considered white shirts and ties fashionable and yes, I hang my head in shame admitting that at some point I may have been known to wear the sandals and socks (I know, I know--hard to believe, right?). Still currently some of my clothes that are still a size or two too big since I've lost all that weight and because of my limited budget not being exactly able to replace my outfits at anything higher than DI and the occasional splurge at the clearance rack at TJ Maxx. So, I'll volunteer to get a makeover if GQ or What Not To Wear want to re-mediate the current situation of bad dressers in this state, so someone, please nominate me--I'll take one for the team!

Being Civil/Respectful Vs Loving...

I heard the kids talking about being social the other day. My daughter was saying something about not really getting along with a lot of people. My son said something along the lines of "just be nice". I butted in (of course--that's what parents do!) and said, you don't have to like everyone and walk around giving bear hugs to every person in the world, but you do have to be civil and respect everyone even if you don't necessarily like them and that's not negotiable

That may be easy for me to say--I'm a social butterfly--it isn't very difficult to be in social settings, being nice and chatty and striking conversations with people, the kind that within 5 minutes a complete stranger is telling me their deep/dark secrets. Is it because I may across as nice, civil and respectful? Does being a loving person fit somewhere in there? Does that automatically mean that an introvert is not a loving person? Not at all...I may be a little rusty but the commandment is: "Love thy neighbor as thyself", right? It doesn't say: "Be thou respectful and civil" Going back to what I told my kid, I don't think it is possible--if anything--appropriate in our society to go around giving everyone bear hugs, but we have to start somewhere and to me being civil and respectful is a good place to do so.


Even so, in the hustle and bustle of the day we sometimes forget to at the very least be civil and respectful because everyone is in their own little bubble of craziness and we either don't have time to stop and be polite to others, let alone think of bringing them into our own chaos, but at the same time we oftentimes don't think of pausing and stick to the basic niceties of "good morning, hello, please, thanks". I hope we do, but I'm surprised how often I see that not happening and makes me scratch my head. One of the things I really enjoy while I'm running is encountering other runners/bikers/walkers on the trail and almost without exception, people either nod, waive or will even manage a quick hello to each other. Maybe it is because we're all doing something we all enjoy and away from the daily grind and if anything that might set a tone for cordiality.

So does this post have a point? Perhaps--maybe not. Oftentimes we hear how this person is nice, or how another person is good, giving or loving and then we hear how to stay away from such and such person because they're angry, bitter, depressed--I'm sure no one likes to deal with the negative Neds in life but doesn't everyone deserve the same kind of respect and kindness? Is it fair to cut someone off driving or give a pedestrian the right of way only because if we don't we might get a ticket, or should we do it only because it is the right thing to do? Does it even start with a good morning gesture, a nod, a smile, a quick text? I sure notice little things like that and they tend to make my day--I'm sure to some people it might be exhausting, but again, for the sake of my ideal world where we'd all be singing Kumba-ya, with rainbows in the sky 24/7 and glitter all around us, we'll have to start somewhere....

So hello to you, and you and yes even you too!! :-)

Catching up with the Mohosphere...

I promise I haven't forgotten my blog duties (or the 3 people who read it, ha, ha, ha!).

•  Update on mom: She's out of the hospital and waiting for biopsy results, at this time it is just a matter of time to know what we're facing in the form of a diagnosis. Thanks to all who've sent their support here or texts/emails.

• Had lunch with a few Mohos last week, first on Tuesday with Gay LDS Actor, I testify that he exists! :-) We had a good time talking about his work, his partner and life overall, time flew by and he is the nicest guy who keeps really busy, I vote we all drag him into more Moho activities when he is not busy acting. Then on Friday I had lunch with Jeff, Kiley (who brought me a cool house-warming present, YAY!) and David and we chatted, laughed and ate. I think we almost have Kiley convinced not to go back to Louisiana--who knows maybe we should have hid the keys to her car!
 

• I've been challenged to run a 10K in September, which means that I have to put some serious running in to train and add miles to my running. I was able to do almost 4 miles last Saturday without feeling like I was going to die, so I'm getting there, YAY! 

• I'm working on a couple of more serious postings too but seriously this weather has been so nice that the last thing I want to do is sit at the computer and type (and a certain handsome man is also keeping me busy, since we live so close together---not that I'm complaining at all) Woot!

Is there anything that prepares you to hear it?

I don't think anyone likes to hear that a loved-one is in the hospital. I heard of a friend that was having surgery and went to visit her on Friday morning. Spent a little time catching up and wishing her well. Later on I missed a call from my dad--when I got around to calling him back I could feel in the tone of his voice that he was worried. He told me that he had been in the ER with mom since the night before.

They had been doing testing and up to the morning they were still in the middle of it all but they finally decided to admit her. My first reaction was to panic --and ask why they didn't call me before? -he said he didn't want me or the other siblings to panic--oh...

Move forward to today. Mom is still in the hospital and they're doing a biopsy... It kind of sucks being so far away and not being able to do much, but I'm not a doctor so it isn't like I'd be able to do anything being there either...so we just sit and wait and make an attempt to keep distracted until I hear again...

Slow week, crazy week

I started moving out of my old apartment last weekend. As I suspected, I had too much crap, considering that I had been trying to downsize considerably. At some point I sat in the middle of boxes, totes and thought to myself: "Where do I even start?" but little by little things just happened. By Sunday afternoon with a lot of very appreciated help from Jeff we moved most of the bigger stuff to the new, smaller place. 

A couple of days earlier we had also been talking about a lot of the stuff that had happened at this place. This is where I spent more than a few dark, sleepless nights thinking to myself: "What have I done?", this is where I would grab the dog to go on walks at 2:00 am to try to clear my head and where I cried many, many tears mourning the life I tried to live and trying to put the pieces of my life together again. 

But not all was sadness. This is where I remember catching my reflexion in the bathroom mirror one day and finally being able to literally look at myself probably for the first time and say: "You're going to be alright, you deserve to be happy and you're going to get through this". This is the place where I learned to pick my battles with the X. This is also the place where I held a Halloween party for my daughter trying to keep somewhat of a semblance of normalcy--not sure if I accomplished anything by that or not, but try I did. This is the place where I told Jeff I loved him for the first time. This is the place where he met my sisters and my kids and where we had food, learned to cook together, made dinners for people and had company over---great times!!-- I did a lot of growing as a person here. 

As I got ready to close the door for the last time in this place I took these pictures and thought: Why is it so freaking bittersweet? Yeah moving on and moving forward is a good thing. I am still trying to put it all together in my new place and I'm almost done, again not without tremendous help from the boyfriend. I took the week off work to get as much done as possible and by Thursday I was able to literally take a couple of days to just sit back, chill and relax (as much as I'm able to relax!) watch some movies and try to analyze all that has happened and the prospect of the things to come!

Last night at a dinner with friends; one of them is about to embark in a similar journey--he is looking for a place to live, move out of his house and move on--almost the same story but different people with slightly different circumstances--- I mentioned to Jeff that anytime I hear about someone (namely a married gay guy) goes through the process of leaving the house, the wife, the kids knowing that life will never be the same--my heart breaks over and over again and I relive my experience from over 2 years ago in some sort of  PTSD; but I understand that everyone has to walk their own journey and all we can hope is to be there for them, literally, love them, hold them as so many people did for me back then --still do-- and and that time will heal all wounds and people will learn to adapt, we have to in order to be able to allow life to move on...

So here's to new beginnings, new prospects and hopes for a better life, always!