This is not a cry for help or pity, it is just to get my thoughts out and sorted out--or so I claim.
Ever since I planned my move to the downtown area I considered what would happen to the kid's ability to get to school. Their schools are not in their neighborhood, so it isn't just as simple as walking to class. Over the last 2 years their mom had dropped them off at my house early in the morning and I proceeded to drive them to school and then head to work. Well this year is different since I'm not so close to them. Still one of the reasons I considered moving where I live is that work is literally a walk away, I'm relatively close to everything I would need (walking distance) and I honestly am not afraid of using mass transit if I have to, so I always considered just handing the car to my 17-yr old son so he could drive his sister and himself to school as a possibility, after all the car would just sit parked at my place all day, all of it sounded much simpler as I thought of it in my head and eventually voiced it to the kids as an alternative. He was able to get his license this summer and things just have fallen into place to make the best of the situation, it all seemed great,
Until they drove off in the car last night; then it hit me: I may not get it back! eeeeeeeek!
It has been way too long since I haven't had a car. Now granted there are some perks of not having one, such as not having the insurance, maintenance and gas expense--which in reality does bite a big chunk of my already meager budget and my kids don't have to worry about how they're getting to school first & foremost and perhaps other places as well. The flip side of that is that my son is not working, I really don't know if his mom is able to take on the expense for an additional car, not to mention the fact that I'd always wonder what he is up to and of course if he is safe and sound--now it isn't like he drove off in a Ferrari or even a Lexus or anything, but still a car is a car, right?
And let's face it, part of me says that a 40-something year male should be in a better place than this and be way more self-reliant than that even if it is something as basic as having my own wheels to move around--this part is kind of crushing my reality right now and is probably bugging me way more than I anticipated, after all, a car is one's little kingdom where I can feel the freedom of coming and going as I please and be in my little bubble which now feels like it just about burst
--I'm sure I'm making this sound way worse than it really is, seriously it isn't the end of the world and Jeff's offered to help where he can---what a fantastic guy, right? :-) I suppose things can always be much worse than they are and I'm sure there are people in even more dire circumstances than I find myself, at least my kids are able to get to and from school without worries and having to depend on others, so I probably should go with that thought in my head and make the best of the situation. Who knows it may be a good thing having to learn to use mass transit again and the benefit of walking somewhere--even for a gallon of milk is always an advantage, so I'll go with that... The trade off would be for me to trek all the way to the kid's house, pick them up, drive them to school, drive back to work--I don't think I'm up for that kind of stress, NO THANK YOU!
Yeah, I'll keep telling myself that I'm making the best choice, even though I'm losing some of my self-assumed freedom...this is probably more than I should be sharing on here--but just had to get it out and I also realize that there are worst things in life to moan about--life is good, it really is!!!